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I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately, being jobless will do that to you. Anyway, today I started taking steps to get myself out of the funk. I joined a book club and we had our first meeting this evening. It seems like a really neat bunch of girls. It’s really hard to meet 20something women and I’m really excited to see how this is going to pan out. The first book we’re reading is A Reliable Wife. It seems like it could be an interesting book, kind of a murder mystery. I’ll let you know how I like it. I’m not really worried about what book we’re reading at this point though. As much as I love Joel, I need some girl friends.

By the way, one of the girls said I look like Erin from The Office:

I guess I can see it. What do you think?

Last week I started Phoebe in agility class. If you’ve never seen dogs compete in agility this is what we’re working up to:

The first dog competing is a papillon. *grin*

We’ve only taken three classes but so far she’s doing really well and I think we’re both having a lot of fun. I know I am anyway. It’s actually quite a lot of work physically, not just for the dog but for the human too. A lot of running and of course I have to be high energy all the time to encourage her. It’s a blast though.

Anyway, all of that does not explain the title of my post. Don’t worry, I’m getting there. When I take her to class I like to wear shirts that have a front pocket on them (like a hoodie) so that it’s easy to access her treats. Today we got to class early and I visited and talked with the teacher and other dog owners. Ya know, like normal. As we were walking into the ring to start class (approximately 15 minutes and five people later) I tried to put her baggy of treats into the front pocket of my shirt. I couldn’t seem to find the opening so I looked down and there was no opening because… I had my shirt on inside out. That, ladies and gentlemen is why I am awesome.

Ok, I think I may have a problem.

This is really too many for two people to have, right? I mean, there’s no way we’re ever going to buy this many groceries at once. There are only two of us for heaven’s sake. Even with this many I still see ones I want to buy every once in awhile. I think it might be a sickness. Anyone else out there have an excessive amount of reusable bags? Or am I just a freaky bag lady?

I used to be very involved with church. From birth to 18 I loved going to church, and some of my best and closest friends were there. I have since stopped going to church and some people wonder why.

Here is what Church has done for me:

Church used the people I loved the most and then told them they weren’t important. It drove them away because they couldn’t commit several more days a week to being there.

Church enslaved my husband for years by giving him false promise after false promise that eventually he would be paid a living wage. You would be shocked how little you can live on. It kept him from going to college by having him take their “college” classes only to find out later those classes were completely worthless in the real world, leaving him with no higher education.

Church hurt my family members when they made mistakes. It rejected them and made them outcasts because there was a visible reminder of their mistakes. They did not hold the same standard for the people the mistakes were made with.

Church made me feel like less than a person because I had a life and couldn’t commit most of my time to them.

Church brought me in, only to reject me later when I had questions and disagreed about certain theological points.

Church made me walk on eggshells because doing or saying the slightest “wrong” thing would offend someone.

Church made me feel guilty because I could never do enough. I never witnessed enough, I never fasted enough, I never read my Bible enough. Nothing was ever enough.

Church told people I love that they were doing something wrong when they were being abused. They downplayed everything and sent them into dangerous situations and it almost cost lives several times.

Church made a husband discourage his wife from having contact with her father because her father made a lifestyle choice that goes against the Bible. When we stood up for the father, wanting to love him and have him be a part of our lives anyway, we were in turn rejected.

Church took away my chance to meet my biological grandfather. He married a catholic girl after divorcing my grandmother and since there is a stigma about divorce chose to completely cut off all contact with my mom. He pretended he didn’t have a daughter and left my mom questioning who her biological father was for 50 years. My mom has a stepfather who is amazing and we all love very much but even as a child I could tell how hard it was for her that she didn’t know where she came from. She met him last year and he was apparently a really neat man. He wasn’t ready to meet any of his grandkids yet though. He just died. I will never meet him.

I can’t step foot in a church now without thinking about all these things and more. I know that if they truly knew me, what I think and believe, I would be rejected. I feel like I know the end of the story before it even starts.  It’s not a happy ending.

I’ll take Jesus, you can keep Church.

I currently have a lot of free time on my hands. This has led me to taking up hobbies like cutting up magazines, raising a puppy…

and now baking cupcakes for no reason whatsoever.

I actually have always enjoyed baking. When I was younger I would joke about how fat my family would be because that’s the only thing I was good at in the kitchen. I’ve gotten away from baking because I don’t feel like having to buy a bigger pants size every other month but the other day I saw a recipe that I just had to make.

It all started when Martha Stewart followed me on Twitter. Don’t tell Martha (although I’m sure she reads this blog because, you know, we’re totally Twitter BFFs and all.) but I’ve never really been a fan. Not that I disliked her, I didn’t have strong feelings one way or another. Well, she had to go and follow me which led me to checking out her blog and all of the sudden I’m all “Oooh! That’s so cute!” and “Ah! Those look delicious.” When I stumbled upon these cupcakes I just had to make them. I’m a huge sucker for toasted marshmallows in any form.

Lots of chocolate, layering, mixing and beating….

Broil for a couple minutes to get a nice toasted marshmallow look and voilà:

It may not be as pretty as Martha’s but it tastes like a little bite of heaven. It’s probably one of the most delicious cupcakes I’ve ever put into my mouth. No joke. Yum.